hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize