I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
