No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
