Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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