he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
