Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
