She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
