shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
