Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
His nipple licking is glorious
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