my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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