Do you still have your period?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
