i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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