somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
