Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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