I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
His hands were made for my vagina.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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