Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
