And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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