She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
