Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
