lets start a swedish sibling band together
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
