cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
