Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
