What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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