I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Liz is crying about burritos again.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
