you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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