im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
