Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
