Are we in a gay sports bar?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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