Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Found the puke drawer
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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