Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
