oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
