I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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