we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
