Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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