just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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