grandma shit on top of the toilet
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize