whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
