I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
