What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
