Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
