is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
