so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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