I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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