Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
