You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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