Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize