i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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