If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
