You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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