she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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