Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
