first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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