like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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