i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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