paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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