Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
