yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
