I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
