You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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